Day 31/100

Lately I have been thingking... what do I really want? 

Like, what do I really want to achieve? 

I personally want to figure it out because honestly, while I am not happy nor content with my current station in life, I find that I am not really doing anything to get the fuck out of this state.

I wonder if it is because I don't even know where the fuck I wanna go. Or be. 

So, I figured I'll use this space to figure it out. 

So, here goes nothing. 

I dream of being surrounded by people that I respect, and who respects me in return. People who I can depend on. People who will take notice of me and what I can offer.

If I really have to describe them, maybe a mix of my W1 acquaintances and W2 friends. The dependability and camaraderie of those people. People who will share my moments with me. Celebrate my joys and embrace my lows. 

I dream of a group of friends who will understand what I am going through, whether it be blogging or work, or school. I dream of being able to open up to people who are there to listen. I dream of people that I can share and celebrate my wins with, without worrying that I look like I'm bragging. 

I dream of the attention given to me by W2, how it made me feel special and helped me rebuild my self esteem. They made me feel wanted and made me feel that showing up was important and that they appreciated my presence. 

I dream of having people that I can simply chat with or ask to lunch. I dream of having people that I can level with, people who will make an effort to get to know me, people who will support me and indulge me. 

I dream of friends who understand that while I work in silence, it doesn't mean that I don't have time for them. I dream of friends that I can go on brunches and weekend parties and dinner shenanigans with. Friends that I can simply call to chat about anything under the sun. Friends that keep the group chat going and never let each other be the last message. 

I dream of a place that I can finally call my very own, with space for work, play, and rest. I dream of being able to move comfortably and live effortlessly. I dream of being able to elevate myself, of being recognized for my talent. 

So many dreams, so many wishes. 

While I have lost the thought for this blog post, I think I got the essence. I'll just expound sooner or later, I guess.