Sunday Evening Thoughts | Dear Diary 2023

/ May 14, 2023




I am meant for more 

I am meant for more 

I am meant for more


These are the words that keep on repeating in my head.


I am meant for so much more than this

I am meant for so much more than this

I am meant for so much more than this


Right now I am having such a hard time with writing and typing out my feelings and I have so many thoughts that are distracting me but I know that I have to push and keep at it. I have to push through and actually write something because I need to exorcize these demons out. 


I need to keep writing

I need to keep creating 

I need to stay alive 


I have been on hiatus for days on end now and I know that I have so much pending things to do but I am not doing anything because I feel frozen. I am actually not sure why, but all I know is that I have to keep my head above water. I need to calm down and work and do what I have to do. 


I have to fight 

I have to breathe 

I have to be true to who I am 


The true me perseveres against all odds, no matter how much she wants to give up. The real me stands strong against all adversities.


I have weathered so many for so long, and I have stood the test of time.


So why do I feel like the world is ending? Or is the world ending as I know it? I feel so uneasy and unsure of everything that I know.


I feel the breeze from the edge of the cliff

The depth is calling me and singing my name

This time though, I know that I am not scared of finality of falling


I am scared of starting from the bottom up again.











I am meant for more 

I am meant for more 

I am meant for more


These are the words that keep on repeating in my head.


I am meant for so much more than this

I am meant for so much more than this

I am meant for so much more than this


Right now I am having such a hard time with writing and typing out my feelings and I have so many thoughts that are distracting me but I know that I have to push and keep at it. I have to push through and actually write something because I need to exorcize these demons out. 


I need to keep writing

I need to keep creating 

I need to stay alive 


I have been on hiatus for days on end now and I know that I have so much pending things to do but I am not doing anything because I feel frozen. I am actually not sure why, but all I know is that I have to keep my head above water. I need to calm down and work and do what I have to do. 


I have to fight 

I have to breathe 

I have to be true to who I am 


The true me perseveres against all odds, no matter how much she wants to give up. The real me stands strong against all adversities.


I have weathered so many for so long, and I have stood the test of time.


So why do I feel like the world is ending? Or is the world ending as I know it? I feel so uneasy and unsure of everything that I know.


I feel the breeze from the edge of the cliff

The depth is calling me and singing my name

This time though, I know that I am not scared of finality of falling


I am scared of starting from the bottom up again.








Continue Reading

 [04.29.23] 













NFT gaming has just been made more easy and affordable with the Kryptomon launch on Playdex, SEA gaming platform founded by Filipino gamers.



Playdex, your favorite social gaming platform, is excited to announce that the Kryptomon Non-Fungible Token (NFT) Rental Marketplace is now LIVE on Playdex, offering gamers in Southeast Asia (SEA) and around the globe a groundbreaking opportunity to play NFT games for as low as PHP 1!





What’s the Kryptomon Genesis game all about? 


Kryptomon Genesis is a competitive web3 roleplaying game (RPG) where players can breed, train, and fight with their own unique digital monsters that are purchased as NFTs. In Kryptomon, gamers can explore an immersive metaverse, join epic battles with friends, and earn rewards in the form of $KMON tokens, which can be exchanged for real money.


With the Playdex NFT Rental Marketplace, players can now easily rent Kryptomon NFTs for as low as 1 PHP for a day, making it incredibly affordable to join epic battles and start winning $KMON rewards. Only 3 NFTs are needed to maximize gameplay, with a total cost of just 3 PHP, allowing gamers to access rare and unique NFTs for a fraction of the original cost.



Why should gamers get on Playdex?


But that's not all! Playdex has more in store for gamers. The rented Kryptomons can also be used in the upcoming Kryptomon Genesis Leaderboards to be hosted in the Playdex GameHub, with huge prize pools awaiting those who rank and win in these tournaments. 


At Playdex, gamers have all they need to level up their game like never before.


The Playdex NFT Rental Marketplace is just one of the many up and coming features on the Playdex platform. This revolutionary NFT rental feature allows users to rent NFTs for a specified period of time, without having to purchase them outright.


Watch this “How to Rent Krytomon NFTs on Playdex” video for a step-by-step tutorial on how to rent your very own Kryptomon NFTs now!




What does this mean for web3?


Now, with Playdex, more people can be easily onboarded into web3 — where they can unlock a whole new way to get entertained and get rewarded through gaming. 


Playdex is proud to be at the forefront of this gaming revolution, bringing a more accessible and rewarding gaming experience to gamers worldwide. 


Don't miss out on this one-of-a-kind opportunity to explore the exciting world of blockchain gaming and start winning gaming rewards today!


––––––––––––


About Playdex


Playdex is a Southeast Asia social gaming platform founded by Filipino gamers with the mission of enabling and empowering the next generation of gamers to play better together and get rewarded for their passion for gaming.


Sign up on www.playdex.io today to start playing 500+ games, renting your own gaming NFTs, winning leaderboards, and so much more! 


Join our online community on Facebook, Twitter, and Discord to know the latest on Playdex!


For Media Inquiries, please contact: 

monica@playdex.io 

mustard@playdex.io


Thank you!




 [04.14.23] 







 [04.03.23] 




 [03.25.23] 







A ton of people asked why I chose to go as Medusa during the Into the Diamond Realm event of Gamer Girls Philippines ...

They said it was a surprising choice -- that Athena or Artemis or some other goddess fit my narrative better...

To be honest I wanted to say that "I just wanted to.". Keep it at that. No more questions. No more excuses.

(P.S. Long read)

But then I realized, even after all this time, the chokehold it had on me never loosened. Maybe I just learned how to function with it? Learned to be blind? To push it so far down even I question myself if it actually happened sometimes.

Will I ever be able to share my story? Probably not.
Will I ever be able to fully trust someone else's words and actions? Maybe not.
Will I ever be able to see myself the same? Definitely not.

Once upon a time I put my faith into the hands of people who were supposed to take care of me. Perhaps, in their own way, they did. They made sure I was clothed and fed and educated.

I felt like I was at the top of the world until I was not.

Until it latched onto me and dried me up from the inside out. Until I was no more and until my own eyes and mind deceived me.

When I needed them the most, that's when I felt like they decided my time was up and I have used all my chances. That I was beyond saving and beyond repair. I don't even remember being given chances. But chained and detained I was, to a dream that was never mine. It was always their dream. Not mine. Who am I to dream anyway?

So turned all eyes on me into stone. With each stone I made, I built my walls, as high and as strong as I possibly could. I kept everyone at a distance because why should I even bother getting close, when letting them in only makes them want to leave ? Why give them the stones that they can use to hurt me ?

The snakes on my end kept slithering and snickering, and sometimes I listen too closely and end up with marks. Day in, day out, they whisper ideas that took me most of my adolescence to silence.

Medusa's story is one I resonate with. The story of betrayal. The story of being punished simply by declining another's desire. The story of being ostracized simply because I looked different and wanted different path in life.

So, to this day I still stack up my stones to build my walls. I still never fully trust people. I still hear hisses of dangerous ideas 24/7.

I just learned how live with it but I remember it all.

#GGPWomenOfPower #GGPartner #GGParty #GGPevent #GamerGirlsPhilippines #GGPIntoTheDiamondRealm

📸 Ferlyn Landoy
📍 Kondwi PH 

 [03.04.23] 








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