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Unworthy Me | Lockdown Diaries May 2020

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I get these random boosts of energy and inspiration, but when I try to get to work, nothing comes of it. 
I don't know how to make sense of it at all. 
It's like I have a weird, menacing and advanced version of a writer's block or a creative block that somehow just removes itself for just a tiny little moment, enough to let me feel some sort of hope that I can do something and get out of this rut..
But when I try and focus all my energy into recovering, it just stuffs itself back up. 
Does that make sense? I hope it does. I hope it makes sense. 
To be honest, I have so many things planned. So many things I want to do and I know I can achieve. Deep inside I have faith that I can do it. 
But it feels like my body is just so over it. My creative flow is so blocked that I don't even know what's worth it anymore. 
I want to get online courses certificates.  I want to renovate my apartment.  I want to launch my own business.  I want to film new videos.  I want to share knowledge.  I…
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Self Esteem and Confidence | 2020

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Last week, I joined a group on Facebook that is focuses on self esteem improvement by means of journal writing. I am a bit late to the party, as this started last May 1st, but I still decided to go and catch up.

Also, i have decided that I'm just going to churn out blog posts whenever I want to. Writing has always been my solace and my escape, and I am going back to it. I am going to make sure I am okay first before I go ahead and try to make things better for others.

This weeks focus is identifying root causes, and the prompt given is:

What does your self esteem and and confidence look like right now? Identify a few areas you feel your self esteem is weak and a few areas where you feel it is strong. Be as detailed as possible. How does your current self esteem benefit you or limit you? 
Right now, May 5th, 2020, my self esteem is pretty much non-existent. Mostly because I am seeing my peers be more successful than I am, and it hurts. Big time.

I feel like I am chasing something …
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Location: Taguig, Metro Manila, Philippines
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Restart | April 2020

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Okay.

Hi!

Restarting this blog again because apparently I want my own website and I am definitely going to buy my own domain (Edit: I actually just finalized buying the domain OMG)-- so might as well make use of this wonderful little blog.

So..

Back to basics, I guess?

I'm Nessa, 24, an aspiring blogger living in Bonifacio Global City. I tag myself as "Your Resident Bulakenya in Manila", and honestly, I really want to change it but apparently it has now stuck on me, so here we are. I create beauty and lifestyle content for Instagram, Facebook and Youtube. I also livestream regularly on Shopee, talking about trending and relevant topics in the industry. On this blog, I will also be posting similar content.

But that's about to change now that I actually have my own website!

So yeah. Restart!

I'm Nessa, your resident Bulakenya in Manila!

I just turned 24, and I am slowly being even more passionate about content creation. So, at this point, I am not just into the su…
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Location: Bonifacio Global City, Taguig, Metro Manila, Philippines
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First Impressions: Ava Luna by Kylie Padilla | March 2020

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Ava Luna by Kylie is Kylie Padilla's bath essentials line which just launched on the 4th of March, 2020 at 11AM.

This bath essentials line is inspired by Kylie's passion for self care and dream about creating her own skincare line.

This is line resonated with me because of the advocacy -- mental health and taking care of one's self. I think that in this day and age, although we are more open about mental health, there is still something missing about actually learning about how to take care of yourself, that there is still a slight disconnect on how to take care of your physical and mental health. I believe that these two are inseparable, taking care of my mind and my body are one and the same -- and I enjoy products that combine the two.

Congratulations Kylie, my Hara Amihan, for this beautiful bath essentials launch. I am very grateful for the chance to be able to actually try this before the actual launch. Connecting with you and your team was a breeze, and I wish you a…
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Hello 2020 | February 2020

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And just like that, the first 30 days of the new decade is DONE. 

My original plan was to have the blog up and running right away this 2020 as believe it or not, I really miss blogging and I wanted to go back to it. #BlogsNotDead!

Yeah.. but of course life doesn't really always go according to plan so here we are. 

Doing a recap for January 2020. 

January 1 - I launched VLONTY, which was put on hold unfortunately as I had to work on something very important which is... 
January 2 - I GOT MY DREAM JOB!
and basically that's what took up my time for the rest of January lol. I had to step up really fast as everything was fast paced -- start date, training, nesting etc

Right now I do feel like I'm kind of getting the groove of it, so I guess we're just about good to go. 

Here's a few more highlights of my January -- sorry I got a bit caught up w/ my major January highlight (I got a job, got a job, got a job :D )

Events (insert picture highlights) Teami  Juice Cubi x Okane  Co Love  S…
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CSC: Confidence, Support groups, and General Updates | Alopecia Areata

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It was definitely an internal battle earlier.

To shower or not to shower?

Showering still won though. I know I have to, so I will. And I did. Yay to having the courage to shower three days in a row! I think it also helps that I am seeing less and less shedding every time I comb my hair. It's now almost back to the amount of hairfall I get when I was still "normal".

I now have more courage to wear my bonnet -- not that I have a choice, but I've now learned to own it than hide it. I've even learned how to style it better! I'm actually looking forward to maybe buying a couple more, just so I have some variety.

Surprisingly, I also have been liking the taste of the Spiced Tea that I made. So much so that I brewed a liter of and I've slowly been drinking it. I'll share the benefits and the recipe within the week.

For those who stumbled on this blog looking for more information about Alopecia Areata and perhaps for support, I'd like to share a Facebook…
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Current State of the Crown: Victim Blaming, Noticeable Progress and Plans to Move

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Before anything else, I just want to say that I appreciate all the messages I've been getting lately. I was so scared of judgment that I can seriously count on my fingers the number of people that I told about what is really going on with me. And even within that group, less than half knows what I'm going through. I'd like to say I've never missed a day of blogging ever since I got diagnosed, and these blog posts are connected with my Facebook profile. So everytime I posted here, it gets shared to my social media accounts. For some reason however, a photo album of the blog pictures get created rather than being under the Featured Image blog photo. Of course, my Facebook friends are seeing it and I've been receiving quite a lot of comments and personal messages about it. I really do appreciate every single message (and I am surprised I am receiving this much support), but messages like this just doesn't sit well with me.

    "Kung ano-ano kasi ginagawa mo …
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