Dear Universe, help me heal. | Dear Diary 2021



Dear Universe, 


Lately, my heart has been filled with so much hatred. 


I find myself green-eyed towards other people's success and doubt towards heartfelt messages of concern. 


I notice my words becoming sharper and my thoughts harder.


I feel my brain empty but my mind filled with so many questions. 


"Do I deserve this?"

"Am I worthy of this?"

"Why am I not like them?"

"How did I end up this miserable?"


I can't, for the life of me, find peace in seeing my friends grow and succeed while I'm here in my room sulking.


Dear Universe, my soul needs healing. My soul needs a hug. My soul needs an extra spark to keep burning. 


I don't want to stay like this, being envious of other's success and being cynical of my friends' achievements. 


I want to be able to celebrate with them with a warm heart and an open embrace. I want to be able to wish them congratulations with a genuine smile on face. 


I want to be able to take criticism and feedback with an open mind. I want to be excited again about creating things I like. 


I want to be able to look outside my window and see the sky, not looking down and wondering if it'll hurt when I jump. I want to feel safe in my own mind knowing what I want to do won't hurt me. 


I want to be able to laugh and smile without feeling hollow inside. 


Dear Universe, help me heal. 


I am so tired and weary and lethargic. I am so hopeless and demotivated and alone. 


I want to stop these tears that do nothing to alleviate the pain I feel. I want to end the cold spreading in my heart. I want to feel joy without worrying that's it's only temporary. 


Dear Universe, help me heal. 


Help me heal so I can help others too. 

7 comments:

  1. VERY INSPIRING ANG IYONG KWENTO ATE NESSA, WAG NA WAG PONG MAWAWALAN NG PAG-ASA ALWAYS REMEMBER, EVERYTHING HAS A REASON, God is Always With You at alam kong Hindi Ka Niya Pinapabayaan, His Waiting to Commit Your Worries to Him and He will Give Your Rest.. SENDING MY HUGS AMD SUPPORT ATE NESSA ❤❤❤ FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Habang binabasa ko po parang nalulungkot ako pero kailangan parin natin lumaban lahat po ay mag dahilan kaya kailangan tiwala at mag dasal lang po tayo sa kanya🙏

    ReplyDelete
  3. Habang binabasa ko po parang nalulungkot ako pero kailangan parin natin lumaban lahat po ay mag dahilan kaya kailangan tiwala at mag dasal lang po tayo sa kanya🙏

    ReplyDelete
  4. Same feeling ung tipong lahat tipong lahat ng nasa paligif natin successful na ganda na ng buhay tayo ito pa dn. Yung pain na pinapramdam nila sa atin . Pero okay lng po one day magging okay dn po ang lahat maheheal din tayo ni tayo ni god sa lahat ng pain na nrrsanan na natin 🙏🤗❤️

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Ms Janessa. Just want to share this.. Trust God anyway. God know what He is Doing in your life. Whatever He gives and takes away are all for your own good. We might not have the full grasp Of how He can make Beauty out of ashes , Abut trust Him anyway. HE HAS SEEN YOUR PAST, PRESENT & Your FUTURE. There's no struggle greater than God's plan for you. Trust Him wholeheartedly.
    I pray that you will find peace & comfort in Him in times that you don't understand. ❤️❤️❤️

    ReplyDelete