Showing posts from May, 2020

Unworthy Me | Lockdown Diaries May 2020

I get these random boosts of energy and inspiration, but when I try to get to work, nothing comes of it. 
I don't know how to make sense of it at all. 
It's like I have a weird, menacing and advanced version of a writer's block or a creative block that somehow just removes itself for just a tiny little moment, enough to let me feel some sort of hope that I can do something and get out of this rut..
But when I try and focus all my energy into recovering, it just stuffs itself back up. 
Does that make sense? I hope it does. I hope it makes sense. 
To be honest, I have so many things planned. So many things I want to do and I know I can achieve. Deep inside I have faith that I can do it. 
But it feels like my body is just so over it. My creative flow is so blocked that I don't even know what's worth it anymore. 
I want to get online courses certificates.  I want to renovate my apartment.  I want to launch my own business.  I want to film new videos.  I want to share knowledge.  I…

Self Esteem and Confidence | 2020

Last week, I joined a group on Facebook that is focuses on self esteem improvement by means of journal writing. I am a bit late to the party, as this started last May 1st, but I still decided to go and catch up.

Also, i have decided that I'm just going to churn out blog posts whenever I want to. Writing has always been my solace and my escape, and I am going back to it. I am going to make sure I am okay first before I go ahead and try to make things better for others.

This weeks focus is identifying root causes, and the prompt given is:

What does your self esteem and and confidence look like right now? Identify a few areas you feel your self esteem is weak and a few areas where you feel it is strong. Be as detailed as possible. How does your current self esteem benefit you or limit you? 
Right now, May 5th, 2020, my self esteem is pretty much non-existent. Mostly because I am seeing my peers be more successful than I am, and it hurts. Big time.

I feel like I am chasing something …