Current State of the Crown: Rollercoasters, Goals, and Expensive Wigs

I spent the weekend in an emotional rollercoaster. I spent Friday extremely productive. I booked an appointment with a dentist (this is long overdue) and an gynecologist (because it's about damn time and I've read about the possible links of AA and the female parts). I finished about half of my laundry load, I deep cleaned my bathroom and I tried new (vegetarian!!) recipes.

Then from that lovely light feeling of productivity, I fell in a deep ugly crying session. I cried about my hair (surprise surprise), asking the cliche "Why me?", mourning for my hair generally. Then I fell asleep and when I woke up I drafted about six blog posts.

Pretty much still losing quite a bit of hair at this point. I fell asleep without even changing into lounge clothes so of course I wasn't able to shower. I woke up with an itchy scalp which went away after my first corticosteroids dosage. Fucking little pills punch a bitter explosion. I either take it with milk or a literal sugar spoonful. That's the only thing that can mask the taste right away. Kind of like chasing a tequila shot with lemon and salt.

    12/13/18

    01/14/18

Same routine. I was writing nonstop in my journal, noting various "remedies" and "cures" I was able to find on the internet and judging whether I am willing to try them or not. I'll share the information I've gathered in another blog post I guess. Then come the afternoon and I was bawling again. I don't even know the reason why. Perhaps it was my hair again, or I was feeling so hopeless about my situation, or my monthly visitor is just wrecking havoc.

The 14th of January was yet another productive day. A productive no-sleep day because it was back to work for me come midnight. So yeah.

    2nd day to wear a bonnet

Now I'm sitting here in my station wearing my bonnet and having a full face of makeup on. I styled my hair into two braids and just pinned the loose ends up and put on my bonnet. Then I made my face up. Defined eyes, blinding highlight, bold lips, the works. Probably not the best idea, but whatever. I need a confidence boost.

And I need a nap, I'm literally passing out. BRB in 45 minutes.

Okay, back.

Once I had my face made up, I realized that this may not be so bad. It opened up a lot of opportunities for me. Opportunities that I didn't even think of before, like wigs, hats, etc. I even got back into wearing makeup, which is really nice. I missed doing my makeup. I just have to choose between using makeup and trying out a new skincare routine. I'm not sure if it's okay to use makeup with new skincare routine.

So... now my goals are to make myself better. Maybe it's taking care of my skin, or making my skin color even. Or maybe creating new makeup looks. Or experimenting with wigs. That's another thing I wanted to talk about.

I was inquiring about a wig, and the conversation was going well until we talked about prices. It felt like a poisoned arrow when I realized how much my hair would have been worth if this didn't happen. I wouldn't need to look into wigs or anything at all and just be.. normal.

But right now I'm not and I have to deal with it. Diosmio, what a mess I have gotten myself into.

But is it really my fault? That my immune system decided it's a good idea to attack my own body? Perhaps, since this pretty much means that I wasn't taking care of myself.. Or maybe not, because genetic lottery is just not on my side in this lifetime.

In any case, let's deal with it.

Oh, and for my vital stats, I wasn't able to track those these weekend since I didn't have any means to. Resuming those tomorrow.

Sources: Advanced Hair Clinics and National Center for Biotechnology Information