No Closure | November 2016

They said my blog is my space to to express myself. And so, here I go.

November 4, 2016. I am steeling myself and making my decision to stop this madness. Just like my previous post, I am going to start and slowly let go. I know I can't do it at once, but I can do it slowly. Little by little, I would have to release everything to the wind. I would have to forget every little thing about us. How he makes me smile, makes me laugh, how he makes me feel in general. I don't know how to do it, but distancing myself seems to be the best solution for now. I would have to learn how to take care of myself, and enjoy the company of myself. I would have to improve myself, and find clarity within my being. Maybe when I find myself, I will be able to make peace with everyone around me. With what's happening around me. Maybe I can accept what I deserve, and not what I think I deserve.

I guess I'll start with making my apartment feel like my apartment and not just a place to sleep and stay when I don't have anywhere else to go. It should be a place for me to relax, to do the things I enjoy. Like painting, drawing, composing music and making Youtube videos. Maybe this is the right time to actually go back to my roots, you know? Rediscover my creativity and spend time with myself rather than waiting for someone else.

Maybe I should go and travel alone. Go to places I have never been to before. Spend more time with my friends. Get to know other people. There's a whole new world out there and nothing's stopping me to discover it. Except myself. And wishing that I can go there with someone by my side. However, that's over just as I have decided. First place to go to in mind, the National Library. I have never been there, and I want to see it for myself. Discover new books to read. Find new favorites. Explore what my country has to offer.

I've started making a few adjustments with how I live my life, such as my skincare routine and improving my diet a bit. Soon enough I'll add in working out and look forward to a whole new me. What I'm most excited about is the change in my skin after trying the Korean Skincare steps. It definitely improved my complexion and I hope I can do it for the rest of my body as well. With my diet, it's nothing serious, just avoiding fast food and softdrinks like before. Seriously and rigorously this time. I might try and just drink water, but that's kind of impossible so maybe little by little I can do it. I also try and just cook at home, but my pantry is stocked with easy to cook foods, and I wish I'll be able to stock my pantry correctly and try different diets like Veganism and Vegetarianism. I hope I can find the best fit for me soon.

I can't think of what else add.. so I guess I'll just cut it here for now.

Strange. I'm cool, but I'm in no mood to talk to anyone. I guess this is the start?