Life Updates | November 2016
So, November 1st. Should be kind of a bad omen since it's the day of the dead. But then again, why not just imagine it as a day where in the past dies and I'm renewed?
I'm big on these renewal stuff, and I hope I can finally manage to follow through on this one. Kinda sucks to start over and over again.
As a warm up, I'm just going to use this blog post as an update with what's going on with my life.
I am taking up AB Humanities in University of Asia and the Pacific, thanks to a generous scholarship of my company, Telus International Philippines. I'm a freshman (yet again, see how I always seem to start over again and again?).
Since I'm working full-time, we have a very forgiving class schedule -- only three meetings a week, 3 hous each.
My Monday class is Classical Literature, and right now we're studying the Iliad by Homer. Currently on Book 5-6 and boy oh boy, honestly I'm starting to get bored. Not with the story, but with how it's written. I guess the "epic/poem" style really doesn't capture me? No hate please, it's just not my cup of tea. As a workaround for this, however, I either listen to an audiobook or a reading of the chapter or book we're on. Once I get the gist, that's when I try and read the actual Iliad and it doesn't bore me much since I know where it's going already. Reading the text just becomes a formality for me since I need to know how to spell the names and places and feel the characters'. As of the moment, I'm just overwhelmed by all the deaths in the book but then again, it's about war. Against two guys. For a pretty girl. And damn, it's so cliche but I guess that's what interests the population.
My Wednesday class is English 101. Now this is a class I'm doing well in. Hello, this is already my what, 3rd time taking it? The first time, I was over confident because English was on of the strong suits, the second time I passed with flying colors and now I'm retaking it to refresh my memory and prepare myself because according to stories, UA&P's moniker is "School of Term Papers". Even the previous batches are warning us that only Math doesn't have term papers. So, better be armed with the correct tools and training with regards to academic papers. Not to mention I need all the help I can get in terms of organizing my thoughts.
Last but definitely not the least, my Friday class is Philippine History. Hands down, this is my favorite class. I mean, not to brag or anything, I already have awesome grades for this subject, but I decided to retake it just for the hell of it. That decision definitely paid off, as I am learning so much more about our history in this class. I get to see the world through a historian's eyes (our professor is an actual historian! No, he's not old or dusty like how we imagine historians to be. He's really chill, actually). I also find that in going through the same old history accounts, I find new stuff to ponder on, such as origins of names, legends and other trivial details that look insignificant at first and but actually clear up major questions I have.
Since school started, I have not been able to go home as often as I used to, since I don't have that much cash to spend anymore. This makes keeping in touch with my elders a bit hard, and right now I can't think of any solutions, just that I need to be able to stick to a schedule more so than before. I would have to try and beat my deadlines so that I can have more time for things -- and people that I love.
Honestly, there are times when I just don't want to go to work, but not because I don't want to work, but because of commute. It's just so tiring to travel the same route everyday and it's annoying that I can't wear certain clothes because I get cat called. i know I've said previously that I don't care whatever other people think of me, but sometimes I get really scared and so self conscious that I just don't wear clothes that I like anymore. Just the same boring jeans and rubber shoes. And also, no makeup. So I guess the issue isn't with my job?I mean, I kind of enjoy it, the repetitiveness of it, and knowing that's it's a no brainer and I do it well.
However, I'm still not passing my scorecards.. not as I used to anyway. So there might be an underlying problem which I have yet to discover. This month I have made it a point to recover and bounce back, and make sure I get the bonuses again, as it would definitely help me financially. Also, it's a chance to prove to myself that I can still improve and become a better me. Not to mention that I'm going to be here for at least 7-10 years more so why not make the most of my time and aim to get promoted.
Looking internally, I can feel that something is wrong. Something is imbalanced. However, I can't pinpoint what it is exactly. In terms of health, my major concern is my Hypothyroidism (thanks Ma). My eyesight is terrible and i'd like to get Lasik in the future. I am also out of shape and just out of.. the zone. My zone. I have been very... demovitated these past few months and I hope I can bounce back because it's affecting every aspect of my life and it's barely controllable. I have been telling white lies and making everyone believe I'm doing perfectly fine when I'm not (hmm, sounds way too familiar), distancing myself from my friends and working alone (this too), and starting fights with my boyfriend. I'm still looking for answers, but my best bet is that I'm bored and I want something new, something that can occupy my free time and provide me the diversion that I need. An outlet of my inner self, dare I say it. When I was younger, I always had writing, composing music, painting and even computer games as a creative outlet. But now, nothing. Which is why.. maybe, just maybe, I feel so stuffed and irritable all the time. I hope blogging will help me in this aspect.
Of course, how can I forget about this one? My lovelife is pretty stable right now. We're actually going to celebrate our 2nd anniversary in two weeks and I can't believe someone (aside from my family and core bestfriends) stuck with me for that long. I mean, kudos to you my love, I know I'm not easy to be with. I'm quite volatile and stubborn. Not to mention we've been away from each other for the most part. Yes, I'm in a long distance relationship. No relationship advice posts for now I don't even know how we've stayed together for this long. I'm most definitely in love yes, although sometimes I seriously question why I'm in a relationship with this guy. Just kidding! I know why I'm in love (for the most part that is) and it's because of his sincerity.
So. I guess that's it? I've covered all the major aspects of my life, and maybe tomorrow I'll blog about specific topics.
Have a great one!