December 27&28, 2012.


Masaya pa tayo nung una eh. Sana siguro di na lang ako nagreact. If I could turn back time, di ko gagawin lahat ng ginawa ko nung araw na yun. Siguro kung di ko na lang pinansin at di ko pinairal yung pride ko, ayos pa tayo ngayon. Siguro kung inenjoy ko na lang sarili ko, meron pang tayo ngayon. Hay. Ang dami kong regrets tuloy. Sana sana sana.

Pero wala na, tapos na eh.

Ang daming nagtatanong sakin kung ano yung rason, tatlo lang ang sinasabi ko. Sa tingin ko kasi etong tatlo lang naman ang talagang dahilan.

1. Di mo na kaya
2. May nagustuhan kang iba
3. Pareho tayong seloso/selosa

If I could really turn back time, ibabalik ko yung panahon na wala tayong problema.

Pero ayokong baguhin yung mga naging desisyon kong sabihin sayo yung mga bagay na alam kong dapat mong malaman. Ayoko kasi nung nabubuhay ako, tayo, sa kasinungalingan. Ayokong may tinatago.

Hay. Di ko na alam kung ano pang dapat kong sabihin. Di ko na alam kung ano pang dapat kong gawin. Ngayon pa lang nagssink in sakin lahat lahat. Lahat ng panghihnayang, sakit, galit, tampo... Sabi ko ayokong makaramdam ng kahit ano, Sabi ko papakamanhid ako, go with the flow. Hahayaan kita.

Pero nung naisip ko na pwede ka ng mapunta sa iba ngayon, siguro natauhan ako.

Oo kaya ko ng wala, oo kaya kong wala ka sa tabi ko, pero di ko yata kakayanin na makita ka kasama ng iba. Parang iniisip ko pa lang, nanlulumo na ko.

I can't imagine you with someone else.

I want you back.

Oh God. Sana maayos pa to.

Mahal na mahal kita, at ayokong mawala ka... :(

 Papa please don't let me go

I've learned my lesson now
Boys do break girls' hearts
Got mine crushed just now

Papa now I know
What you've been saying all along
That I don't know what boys are
Now you can say I told you so

Papa please hold me close
These tears are falling more and more
It feels like I've got broken bones

Papa I just wanna say
That how many boys I meet
There's someone no one can beat
Papa you will always be first for me

 To all the boys out there, please remember this.


A girl pushes you away when she needs you the most. It may seem childish and immature, but this is how girls work. We need to feel that we are valued. That we are important.

We feel that the most when you stay with us even though we push you away it hurts.

A girl cries the most when there are no tears falling from her eyes.
A girl is hurt the most when she belts out her hardest laugh.
A girl needs you the most when she pushes you away.
A girl screams the hardest when she knows you won't hear her.

Girls are full of contradictions. Boys needs to understand that. We are the world's greatest pretenders. We can fake everything. But deep inside, deep, deep down inside, we are hurting.

Please understand that we do not do is to annoy you.

We do this because this is how we've been for ages.

It just how the world goes. Just remember this.

We will push you away when we need you the most.

 To all the boys out there, please remember this.

  A girl pushes you away when she needs you the most. It may seem childish and immature, but this is how girls work. We need to feel that we are valued. That we are important.    We feel that the most when you stay with us even though we push you away it hurts. Just hold us. Hold us until we finally break down and cry. And then hold us even more. Hold us until we finally talk. Because soon enough, we will. Just be patient. We will tell you everything wehn we've sorted out our thoughts.    A girl cries the most when there are no tears falling from her eyes. A girl is hurt the most when she belts out her hardest laugh. A girl needs you the most when she pushes you away. A girl screams the hardest when she knows you won't hear her.   Girls are full of contradictions. Boys needs to understand that. We are the world's greatest pretenders. We can fake everything. But deep inside, deep, deep down inside, we are hurting.    Please understand that we do not do is to annoy you. We do this because this is how we've been for ages.    It just how the world goes. But whatever happens, just remember this.   We will push you away when we need you the most.

 Okay! First of all, I survived 12-21-12! :)


I really don't believe in that but, I thought that's just something I'd want to immortalize in my blog.

Well, this post is actually more about the title. '

I've got a lot of things going around in my head for a few days now..

What I wanna do, what I wanna accomplish, who I wanna be..

I want to be a Freelance Make Up Artist, heed the word freelance. Free.

I wanna be a model. Print, Runway, Fashion.

I wanna be a well known Wardrobe Stylist.

I wanna be a Fashion Photographer. Or just a photographer, anyway.

I wanna paint again.

I wanna write again.

I wanna record an album of all my songs.

I wanna sew new clothes.

I wanna try things out.

I want to be the best.

But then, I realize, do I really want all of these things?

Maybe I do, but knowing myself, I will never have the patience to do all of it. I have a very short term memory span, especially when I feel like I'm not doing any good.

I guess that's just the way I am. I guess I really am the little princess, expecting everyone to wait on me.

But you know what? I know I can overcome this.

I know I will do amazing things with my life.

As I welcome 2013 into my life, I also welcome new possibilities. New opportunities. New reasons to fight. To overcome. To set the world on fire.

I can do it, because I have people who love me. I have people who believe in me. I have people who trust in me. I have people who will me when I fall, no matter how many times, no matter how hard.

I say goodbye to 2012, maybe a little too early, but I am ready for the new year.

I say goodbye, but I will never forget.

After all, 2012 was one of my greatest years. It will be one of those years that I will tell my children and grandchildren and great grandchildren stories about.

It's the year I left the most transforming years of my life, the year I entered the world of college. The year I met the boy who puts the stars in my eyes.

2012 is my sweetest year.

2012 will forever be in my heart.

It may not be the best, but I know I will have better years.

With him by my side, together we will conquer the world hand in hand.





Behind a good man is a great woman, and behind a great woman is a gentleman, ready to catch her when she falls. That man is GOD. 




God Bless and Happy Holidays everyone. :)

Hugs, Nessa :*


Day 1: Your name and his/her name   Lorenzo and Janessa    Day 2: Your ages   Him-14 Her-16     Day 3: Your locations   Him-Bulacan Her-Manila Day 4: How did you meet?   Juniors and Senior Promenade (February 17, 2012)- Formal meeting Group meeting @ Camille Asuncion's residence - Informal meeting   Day 5: Since when have you been together?   April 17, 2012   Day 6: What is the most random thing you know about him/her? and viceversa   He doesn't like his middle name.. He says he hates his sister but deeply cares for her. He wants a Bench towel! XD   Day 7: How do you communicate with each other?   texts, calls, Facebook... Day 8: Favourite thing you’ve given him/her?   Those monthly letters.... Day 9: Favourite thing she/he has given you?   His bandana.   Day 10: Favourite thing about him/her?   Eyes. Day 11: Pick one thing you miss (I know there are 192,389,238,420,394,023,94 things) and describe it in detail.   I miss the way he shows me he loves me. He doesn't always say it, he does it. He holds my hands, kisses my cheeks, respects my decisions and especially how he's not afraid to show everyone that we're together.   Day 12: How would you define love?   Love is.. not measured by distance, height, age, weight, etc.. Love is... Day 13: What do you think is the hardest thing about distance?   Not knowing what he's doing. Or worse, not knowing what she's doing. Day 14: Describe a moment you had with him/her last time you were together.   "Last Day" ko sa Bulacan before college.. Maaga pa lang magkasama na kami. Inakbayan nia ko, di nia binitawan yung kamay ko, at parang dun ko talaga naramdaman na mahal nia ko. Sweetest day ever? :P    Day 15: Favourite love song?   Ikaw Lamang - Silent Sanctuary Day 16: Favourite love movie?   Wala pa eee. :P Day 17: Favourite love quote?   You fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.   Day 18: Post a picture of the two of you together. (If you don’t have one, post a picture of something you can/could relate to)   (scroll down)   Day 19: I know there’s not one thing, but choose one of your favourite things to hear her/him say.   BEYB. Day 20: Is there something you regret? (either about the relationship, or something you have done)     Day 21: Give us a little insight (as much as you’re comfortable) on your sex life (either with this person physically, or your general history, or over the phone ha, whatever you want) Day 22: Share something cute. (A story, something either of you have done, a song, memory, wish, dream) Day 23: Do you have a song? Which one is it? (if you don’t, then what is something that always reminds you of him/her) Day 24: Describe him/her physically and emotionally/personality-wise Day 25: One thing that he/she does that pisses you off Day 26: Sweetest thing he/she has done for you Day 27: If you had the money/time/connections/whatever to get him/her any gift in. Day 28: If you could have him/her with you physically for the next 5 hours, what would you do? Day 29: When will you see her/him next? Day 30: Where do you see your future going with him/her?